Void

Some days I don’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning. I have to talk myself into opening my eyes and facing the day. What is the point, I wonder. It  isn’t like I am going anywhere, or meeting anyone, or creating anything. I could just sleep the day away and it would make no difference to anyone. Is this what depression is?  I have a lot more than most people. I have a home, my health, a husband, a family and some material possessions. Do I have the right to feel depressed and sad? Yeah, I think I do. I don’t have a purpose. Sure, I do the laundry, wash a few dishes, cook a couple of meals — ‘manage’ a home. But, I don’t feel proud of these things. I want more, and I am not getting it and it makes me sad. I feel like there is this potential and I haven’t reached it and I might never reach it. I don’t even know what will help me feel fulfilled, but I do know that it isn’t what I am doing now. I am afraid that for the rest of my life I will walk around with a giant, gaping void filled with sadness and disappointment,

This could also just be me pms-ing.

 

 

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