I don’t know if it’s the heat (44 degrees!) or the fact that I am pms-ing (Wow, I talk about my menstrual cycle a lot) but I feel weak and slow. I can barely hold my body up, it just wants to sink into every surface I sit on and curl up into a foetal position. I attempted to work out, I lasted 15 minutes, and now my body feels more jelly-like than ever.
I know the heat has really got to me when I don’t feel like eating a donut or drinking a mug of coffee, both of which are ready and available to me. We have planned a road trip for this weekend, hope the temperature goes down, even if just a bit, by then.
I wonder if I should cook something for dinner, but just the thought of standing over a stove in a hot kitchen makes me sweat. I wonder if all my perspiring means I am losing weight. I wouldn’t mind the summer so much then.
My brain is starting to liquify and I think I need to get off this laptop and drink some ice cold water, also I don’t know what I am writing anymore.
Summer is here. I just had an afternoon nap from which I woke up swimming in sweat. That would explain why I woke up thirsty and proceeded to gulp down half a bottle of tepid water.
Today it is 37 degrees centigrade in searing Hyderabad and it’s just going to get worse. It doesn’t help that we live on the top most floor of the apartment building, which means most of the rooms in our home are like ovens.
I could turn on the air conditioner in the afternoons but that feels like too much of an indulgence. Also, I don’t want to make that a habit considering the long summer power cuts will invariably start soon.
It’s a dry heat here, a complete change from the humid heat of Chennai where I grew up. I don’t know which is preferable. But in a couple of days I will be experiencing the latter. Oh joy!
Now excuse me while I go stand under the cold shower for about an hour or two.
So, my period is super late. Super, super late. The thing is it’s been late every month for the past three months. It’s later than ever and every morning I wake up thinking, ‘it’ll come today’. But so far, nothing!
I have also taken to obsessing over every symptom I have which could signal an impending period– cramps, bloating, mood swings etc. I don’t know anymore if I’m imagining symptoms or if that twinge was actually a cramp.
The Internet is a dangerous place for hypochondriacs, and from my extensive googling online I’m convinced I have PCOS — my skin has been breaking out more than usual.
I could just take a pregnancy test to rule out pregnancy and go to the doctor and figure out why my period is late, but I’d rather suffer and agonise.
I’m pretty sure it’ll arrive tomorrow, I think I just felt a cramp.
February 4th was the husband’s birthday. It wasn’t a big birthday, since we both turned the dreaded 30 last year. I did convince him to take off work yesterday, which meant he worked from home. I woke him up at midnight, actually 11.45, the night before and surprised him with a t-shirt and birthday coupons. I had spent a whole morning making the birthday coupons and realised I do not have a single artistic bone in my body. Luckily, coloured glitter pens came to the rescue and I decorated the coupons with squiggles and shapes. He seemed quite touched by the effort.
I had also bought some yummy pastries and those served as a birthday breakfast treat. After which I lounged around while he worked. For lunch I took him to an Asian restaurant. There are many things we don’t agree on, but we agree on the important things, like, Thai food is the best thing ever. We ordered way too much but that meant yummy leftovers for dinner. Win!
The evening was spent with him working and me napping and reading. Also, because it was his birthday I tried to keep my nagging to the minimum which meant that we didn’t get into any annoying arguments. The evening was spent in front of the tv and we turned in early. It was a peaceful, relaxed day and there is a certain loveliness to days like that. Wow, we are growing old!
I hear shouts of Jai Telangana outside, I can hear the national anthem being sung by children in the school down the road, I am living in India’s newly formed 29th state. Yesterday, I asked my helper what she thought about the split, how would it change her life? She said, “What difference does it make to me, I will continue to live and work like I always have.” She further added that the only people who will benefit are the politicians, “now instead of politicians from Andhra eating up the money and buying up land in Hyderabad, the Telangana politicians will.”
Today is your birthday but you spent it taking care of me. Making tea for me in the wee hours of the morning, checking in on me while I slept the day away, making sure I ate something, pressing my feet and even hugging me in my sick state. Have I told you I love you, I really do. I am so lucky to have you in my life. I am grateful for you. Happy birthday my handsome, kind, funny and amazing husband. You inspire me and make me a better person. xx. Love always.