Radio Gaga

C downloaded the tunein radio app on the playstation which has been connected to the television, and now every morning we turn it on and the apartment is filled with music. I was never too fond of the playstation and all the video games C is obsessed with, but now I cannot imagine my life without it. This tunein is so much fun. Tons of radio stations and genres of music to choose from.

I gravitate towards music from the 80s and 90s: the music of my childhood. When I was young my parents’ had videocassettes filled with Madonna, Michael Jackson, George Michael, Duran Duran, Queen, Culture Club, Roxette and countless others artistes’ music videos. My siblings and I watched them till the tapes fell apart. Thanks to which we would insist on singing ‘Like a Virgin’ to visitors, to our mother’s embarassment. One of my favourite songs from the videotapes were ‘ 99 luftballoons’, so this morning when it  came on I shrieked and danced around. The radio has also been playing music by bands from my teenage years; Savage Garden, Garbage, U2 and a whole bunch more.

All this music has made me appreciate my mornings, everything seems happier and lighter. I do the Guardian crossword, drink my morning tea, decide what to do with my day with a soundtrack tailored for me playing. When the help comes to clean we both potter about the house with music playing in the background.  I also learnt that C loves western classical music and goes of into a trance when we are listening to the classic station. I think turning on the radio and starting your day with music should be made mandatory, I am sure it does all sorts of good things for your body and mind. Life is good! Ooh, ‘Tom’s Diner’ by Suzanne Vega just came on, haven’t heard it in years, got to go dance like no one’s watching.

Books and love

I just sent in a story and am feeling very accomplished and happy with myself. Now I shall do nothing for the next couple of days. What a hectic and stressful life I lead!

Serendipitiously, I got a book I had been dying to read delivered today via Flipkart. Is there anything more satisfying than getting new books? Whenever I get a new book I have to write my name, date and where I got it from on the first page. Growing up, I saw my father always doing the same and I guess I picked up the habit from him.

Even now when I open any of his books to read I find his name, date and place where he bought the book from neatly printed. I remember reading ‘Pride and Prejudice’ when I was 16 years old, it was a red leatherbound book with gold etching and was part of a set my father had bought from a bookstore in Parasia. I don’t know if he has read all the books he bought but we, his children, have pulled them out, read them and not treated them with as much care as we should have.

Now that I am older I have become more gentle and careful with books. I love looking at my shelves of books, most read, some waiting to be read. I cannot leave a bookstore without buying at least one book. I told my husband if we ever become very rich and have tons of money, he should be prepared that I will probably spend it all away on books.

I spend a lot of time alone but I never have feel lonely because my books provide me with all the company I need. How could I not love them, when they give me so much?

Just Read

Over the past couple of days I read two books; Meg Wolitzer’s The Interestings and Akhil Sharma’s Family Life. I enjoyed both for different reasons, though both books left me wanting more.

The Interestings follows the lives of 6 individuals who meet at an artsy summer camp in the 70s. They grow up, some remain friends, some of them are successful, some not so successful, they marry and have families of their own and try to find their way in the city of New York. I could connect with the angst, feeling lost, not feeling fulfilled and wanting more. There was some amount of whininess, but I could look past it, who among us isn’t whiney? But the cliches and stereotypes the characters fell into intermittently annoyed me.

Family Life is based on the author’s own life and is about his parents, brother and him living the immigrants life in America. But then there is an accident and his brother is declared brain-dead and everything changes. The book shows how the family evolves and  tries to cope. It is heartbreaking, sad and dark. It is also brutally honest. I just felt that the last line of the book left everything unsettled, I guess I like to find closure at the end of a book.But considering what the family went through, or more like going through still, the ending made sense. I don’t know.

I am wondering what to read next. I started the Lives of Others by Neel Mukherjee, but wasnt able to get into it. Maybe I should give it another shot.

Melting

I don’t know if it’s the heat (44 degrees!) or the fact that I am pms-ing (Wow, I talk about my menstrual cycle a lot) but I feel weak and slow. I can barely hold my body up, it just wants to sink into every surface I sit on and curl up into a foetal position. I attempted to work out, I lasted 15 minutes, and now my body feels more jelly-like than ever.

I know the heat has really got to me when I don’t feel like eating a donut or drinking a mug of coffee, both of which are ready and available to me. We have planned a road trip for this weekend, hope the temperature goes down, even if just a bit, by then.

I wonder if I should cook something for dinner, but just the thought of standing over a stove in a hot kitchen makes me sweat. I wonder if all my perspiring means I am losing weight. I wouldn’t mind the summer so much then.

My brain is starting to liquify and I think I need to get off this laptop and drink some ice cold water, also I don’t know what I am writing anymore.

I am…

• Trying not to take a nap, really not advisable since it’s already 4pm.
• Re-reading the Adrian Mole series for the gazillionth time. Crazy how much I identify with a Middle England-er, who grew up in Thatcher era and is pedantic,anxious and fussy. And, he makes me laugh.
• Thinking about making one-pot sambar rice for dinner.
• Feeling slightly nauseated after having eaten two chocolate chip cookies
• Relieved that I’ve gotten paid for two stories. Still far from having the bank balance I would like, but feels good to see some money in my account.
• Reminding self not to spend a significant amount of said money on books and to finish reading the ones I have.
• Dreaming about a jaunt across Europe — museums, cafes and lovely parks.
• Telling myself to stop day dreaming and to go bring the clothes in as it looks like rain.

Nap time

I have become quite in favour of siesta time for the past couple of months. My freelance work has dried up for the moment and as much as I read, watch shows and cook, I still find I have a lot of time on my hands. 

There is plenty to do around the house. I could cook more than two dishes a day, dust, clean and re-stock the kitchen shelves, wash the curtains etc. But alas, I am not that domestic. Also it is unbelievably hot here. So come 2.30 pm, I can be found lying in bed with a book, my eyes drooping and before you know it I am sound asleep. Here is my problem with afternoon naps, I can’t just cat-nap for half hour. I end up sleeping for a good two hours. I wake up cranky and sweaty (this heat I tell you!) with a slight headache. 

Worse still I can’t sleep in the night. My active imagination and C’s snoring keeps me company as I lie in bed and by the time I sleep it’s around 1 in the morning, this leads to not being able to get up the next morning and the vicious cycle continues, ad nauseam.

This afternoon, I tried my best to not go and lie in bed. I lasted till 3 pm and gave in. I somehow managed to nap for only half hour. It took everything I had to wake up. Now, to wait and see if the cycle has been broken. Tomorrow, I hope to avoid my afternoon nap completely — lofty goals!

Weather gods confused

Supposed to be summer in Hyderabad. Days of searing heat, dryness and feeling like your face is going to burst into a ball of flames. We had a couple of days of that here and then it started to pour. Hailstorms, wind, thunder and rains causes the temperature to drastically drop. I woke up this morning to an overcast and cold day (18 degrees centigrade!). I’m not complaining. Just wondering how long it will last and what the hell is going on with the weather.

Classic?

[Update] Enjoyed the book. Identified with it, was hooked.

I probably should have read this years ago, but better late than never. J D Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye is a favourite of many people I know. There are also a few who really didn’t get the point of the book and why it is considered a classic.  So far I think I fall in the latter group. Though I still have a way to go before I finish the book, so I might change my mind by the end. Let’s see. Considering how angsty I am even at the age of 30 I probably should identify with the protaganist. On the other hand familiarity breeds contempt and all that. I’m rambling. I’ll get back to my book now. 

In the summertime

Summer is here. I just had an afternoon nap from which I woke up swimming in sweat. That would explain why I woke up thirsty and proceeded to gulp down half a bottle of tepid water. 

Today it is 37 degrees centigrade in searing Hyderabad and it’s just going to get worse. It doesn’t help that we live on the top most floor of the apartment building, which means most of the rooms in our home are like ovens. 

I could turn on the air conditioner in the afternoons but that feels like too much of an indulgence. Also, I don’t want to make that a habit considering  the long summer power cuts will invariably start soon. 

It’s a dry heat here, a complete change from the humid heat of Chennai where I grew up. I don’t know which is preferable. But in a couple of days I will be experiencing the latter. Oh joy!

Now excuse me while I go stand under the cold shower for about an hour or two.

Late

So, my period is super late. Super, super late. The thing is it’s been late every month for the past three months. It’s later than ever and every morning I wake up thinking, ‘it’ll come today’.  But so far, nothing! 

I have also taken to obsessing over every symptom I have which could signal an impending period– cramps, bloating, mood swings etc.  I don’t know anymore if I’m  imagining symptoms or if that twinge was actually a cramp. 

The Internet is a dangerous place for hypochondriacs, and from my extensive googling online I’m convinced I have PCOS — my skin has been breaking out more than usual. 

I could just take a pregnancy test to rule out pregnancy and go to the doctor and figure out why my period is late, but I’d rather suffer and agonise.

I’m pretty sure it’ll arrive tomorrow, I think I just felt a cramp.